Lessons on Authenticity
I'm letting go of the idea of an authentic path. It is much more complicated than that. Inspired by the Gondwana Rainforest.
I thought moving to Australia magically placed me on my most authentic path. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect recently, and I realized that I was wrong. Authenticity is much more complicated than a one-way flight.
Following graduation, I envisioned thousands of potential decisions or “paths” in front of me. Only a few aligned with my authentic self. I thought choosing the right one was the hardest part. Once I’d done it, I would just get to skip along wherever it led me.
In reality, there is no “path” to authenticity. Being true to yourself is more of a trial-and-error bushwacking situation.
Imagine you’re standing in a dense, unexplored forest. Aside from the footsteps you’ve left behind you, you’re surrounded by trees that all look the same. There are no paths, just spaces you can walk between.
Your mind may give you plenty of reasons to try to trudge uphill… maybe from a higher elevation, you can see where to go. It may tell you to walk in the same direction as your previous steps… it’s gotten you this far. Maybe you should venture back to the track beaten by the footsteps of others… it’s a lot safer. It may even tell you that there’s no use in walking at all…where would you even go? Even though you don’t hear any rushing water, your intuition may believe there’s a river nearby. For no rational reason, it’s pulling you toward it.
If you choose to step where your intuition guides you…congratulations! You did it! You followed your gut. Now, before you take your next step, you have to do it all over again. And again. And again. You’ll question yourself for days or weeks before you find the river (or something better).
Deciding to backpack Australia was a huge step, and I know that. I left the noise of others telling me what I should do and chose what I wanted. Still, it was only a step. No path or map of where to go next magically appeared before me.
Once I entered a hostel in Sydney, I joined a different type of noise. Many backpackers on the Work Holiday Visa were hustling for jobs and money. Even though they are entirely different people from me with entirely different situations and goals from mine, I found myself questioning if I should be looking for jobs too. Already, I was caught between following my rational mind and my heart’s dreams.
I thought entering the travel world would be different, and I wouldn’t have to struggle to be myself. Although it is significantly easier to be myself while traveling, the struggle is not gone. I’m realizing it will never be gone.
We are constantly caught between our human desire to fit in and our soul’s desire to be fulfilled. It’s the greatest struggle of being a person on this earth. And everyone is experiencing it all the time.
Now, onto why I am writing this. I always envisioned myself as a traveler who writes full-time. Because of that, I’d tell people I wanted to be a travel writer. It didn’t always feel right, but it felt easy to say. Although travel writing is still an unconventional career path, I’ve recently realized it’s not mine — not in the traditional sense.
I looked to other writers and content creators who built up platforms centered around travel, and I started to lose myself in their success. Allured by the “how to go viral” videos and tips on making money through affiliate marketing, I started letting my mind guide my next steps. I ignored that they reminded me of the worst parts of my PR degree. Not to mention that I genuinely didn’t enjoy doing these things.
Spending too much time on social media drains me, but I thought I’d need to learn all of the insider tricks of the algorithms. I love finding travel hacks and I love budgeting, but writing about those subjects is not what calls to me. I’ve been trying to write an article on why I chose a work holiday visa for months, and I just can’t do it! (Whereas writing this flows so easily.)
I’ve had a lot of time to rest and reflect over the past few weeks, and it’s made me realize that I took a few too many steps in the wrong direction. I started to retrace my steps through the proverbial forest, looking for where I last left my authentic intentions.
Wandering in the wrong direction is so normal. Oftentimes, it’s necessary. Sometimes you need to go the wrong way to learn what’s right. The wisdom to realize when you need to backtrack is what’s most important.
It’s funny because I think I always know these truths within myself. It just takes me a minute to decipher and realize what they actually mean. Before I left for Australia, I wrote on my website that my mission was to inspire others to follow their most authentic paths. (Another time I’ve used the word “path”, lol.)
With that mission, it makes sense why writing specifically about travel felt so hard. I don’t care about inspiring people to travel (unless that’s most authentic to them). I don’t want you to explore what I love to do, I want to inspire you to explore what you love to do.
This isn’t to say that I will never write about the specifics of travel again. I am still finding my voice as a writer, and I do want to answer questions and help others interested in this lifestyle. However, it’s not the only part of who I am. I much prefer creating content about my journey and the lessons I’m learning. For example, 11 Lessons I Learned on the Road was so much fun to write. On the other hand, 3 Budget Travel Tips felt like a chore.
Creative writing is my favorite art form. As I’ve been seeing new places and learning tons about myself, I’ve felt most called to poetry and journaling. However, I closed myself off from the idea of writing creatively about my travels. I didn’t think it was a viable option. (An example of how I was trying to follow the path of a “travel content creator” rather than my own.)
Thanks to a recent podcast episode, I’m reminded that poetry and fiction can be much more powerful than a “how-to” guide. Art is open to interpretation. It meets people where they’re at. Now, I will be sharing my poetry, posts similar to this one, and maybe even fiction stories on my platform.
Authenticity, like most hard things, is a practice. As beings who are always learning new perspectives and absorbing new ideas, what is most authentic to ourselves evolves. Things that once worked won’t always be the right option. As I don’t ever want to block others from growing and letting go, I ask you all to embrace the evolution of my writing for as long as you choose to enjoy it.
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with so much love,
Julianna
SO good 🤍🌸
You have the gift of being an outstanding writer who genuinely reaches her audience. Well done!!